books are great friends for morts like me,
they are the greatest listeners,
they offer good advice,
and they dont leave.
you hear me out when i am sad,
you wont tell me your own suffers,
you dont tease me when i am serious,
you dont ever hurt me.
you never sleep when i need you,
you are never too busy for me,
you dont ever get tired of me,
you are always there for me.
you respect me when i need some,
you dont taunt in strange company,
you belong only to me,
you are my best friend.
Saturday, March 22, 2008
another "poem"
this is another poem i wrote on a day my mother struck me for my poor marks.
words cannot spell the emotion in my heart,
rembrandt cannot give color to its flame,
etna is just a pop-lolly in par,
cos such is the anger beareth that i.
why is that i freaked upon this world,
why am i becoming the odd man at the end?
why is it that i am such perditioned,
why did you mother, bring me forth?
bless as you do with your love,
torture me you so with thy eyes,
thine words are like lava in heart,
a slap is thus therefore an intolerability.
you have not the hurt the physical of me,
i am built as the hardiest ox,
but unfathomed is the dent in my soul,
the instance you endeavored to strike me.
forgive me mater, i teared you,
curse me mother, i pained you,
smile mother , cos you win yet again,
thine goal is reached, thy son shall study,
but he hath morphed by you.
words cannot spell the emotion in my heart,
rembrandt cannot give color to its flame,
etna is just a pop-lolly in par,
cos such is the anger beareth that i.
why is that i freaked upon this world,
why am i becoming the odd man at the end?
why is it that i am such perditioned,
why did you mother, bring me forth?
bless as you do with your love,
torture me you so with thy eyes,
thine words are like lava in heart,
a slap is thus therefore an intolerability.
you have not the hurt the physical of me,
i am built as the hardiest ox,
but unfathomed is the dent in my soul,
the instance you endeavored to strike me.
forgive me mater, i teared you,
curse me mother, i pained you,
smile mother , cos you win yet again,
thine goal is reached, thy son shall study,
but he hath morphed by you.
nein nom sonnet
this is a "poem" i created during my early years at college. it is a literary rubbish but still i feel like sharing here.
Nein Nom Sonnet
what a person can do,
without the power of tongue,
in a world where sword is useless, pen a burden,
words are the sharpest weapons of man.
my sword is no less sharp,
my pen no less full,
but my tongue is empty for words.
assaulted by jabbing taunts,
i feel unnaturally vulnerable,
among gents of sharp wits and sharper remarks,
i am helplessly unarmed.
curse this wretchedness, curse this upkeep,
curse this absence of a sharp tongue,
i abhor my background,
which humbles me amongst my peers.
Nein Nom Sonnet
what a person can do,
without the power of tongue,
in a world where sword is useless, pen a burden,
words are the sharpest weapons of man.
my sword is no less sharp,
my pen no less full,
but my tongue is empty for words.
assaulted by jabbing taunts,
i feel unnaturally vulnerable,
among gents of sharp wits and sharper remarks,
i am helplessly unarmed.
curse this wretchedness, curse this upkeep,
curse this absence of a sharp tongue,
i abhor my background,
which humbles me amongst my peers.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
bleaky blankness
days are going on sluggishly. hours are flying by with the speed of a sloth river.
today evening i at least embarked on a change of scenery.
i restuck my ambition chart in front of my computer desk.
this was a crazy chart which we had to make during our week long personality improvement camp conducted by the venerable thomman sir. the loony bugger told us to make the chart at the end of a full day of classes at 2 am!!! and we had to bloody well submit the well prepared chart by 6 am that morning itself!!!!
we hardly had 4 hours of break in between and we had to procure chart papers, collage materials and friggin ideas to create!!!
i never thought any of us could do it!!!! it was a bloody impossible task that was set to us!!!
but somehow we all did it!!!! my having a veritable library of india todays, frontlines, weeks, outlines and reader's digests around my messy room helped. also the lack of any glue was solved by the wide brown packing tape that i had!!!!
my collage was of a flow chart type .
it started off with abgraduation pic showing "from a successful graduation an odyssey begins". of course the words are mine but the pictures were somehow impressive!!! [ of course would i ever say otherwise?]
next arrow pointed to a man climbing a vertical rock face with my caption "no barrier too high for me".
next arrow pointed to a picture of asoka sthambha , india's seal where the caption was "in the nation's service, IPS". after all it is my stated career aim to be a civil servant.
the next arrow points to a picture of a lonely road from the perspective of a solitary driver, captioned "driving down lonely roads".
next picture is of a flame breather spitting out a cloud of flame in front of an enchanted audience!!! captioned "blazing thru obstacles".
next a picture of an arms seizure and a guy being walked around in guantanamo. being captioned "the great crackdown" and "satisfaction guarranteed" it displays my infinite hatred of terrorists plaguing india.
next is a trivial picture of a chap holding a illusory music system and with caption "njoyin da life!!!" at it.
finally there is the picture of my love and my craze,
a royal enfield bullet!!!
after all the prize has the least importance in the sequence of karma!!!!
i am a strong believer in the gita saying, karmanyeva adhikarasthe, maa faleshu kadaachana!!!!
i have had this chart with me for almost 2 years!!!! i first made it in my sixth semester. it survived my room shifting in final year and now fully 2 years later it is at my desk!!!!
how drastic life has changed in those 2 years!!!! i was a 5 back paper guy while studying in sixth semester. from then i consistently gained 8,7 and 6 back papers in my 6,7 and 8th semesters respectively!!!!
funny aint it?
my career seemed to go in such wild directions as merchant navy, networking job in IT industry and even call center industry!!!!
but my aspirations in the chart have never changed!!! IPS and the bullet bike!!!!
damn!!! i am getting serious, am i not?
bloody hell!!!!
i just hope the "graduation" thing could happen soon!!!!
today evening i at least embarked on a change of scenery.
i restuck my ambition chart in front of my computer desk.
this was a crazy chart which we had to make during our week long personality improvement camp conducted by the venerable thomman sir. the loony bugger told us to make the chart at the end of a full day of classes at 2 am!!! and we had to bloody well submit the well prepared chart by 6 am that morning itself!!!!
we hardly had 4 hours of break in between and we had to procure chart papers, collage materials and friggin ideas to create!!!
i never thought any of us could do it!!!! it was a bloody impossible task that was set to us!!!
but somehow we all did it!!!! my having a veritable library of india todays, frontlines, weeks, outlines and reader's digests around my messy room helped. also the lack of any glue was solved by the wide brown packing tape that i had!!!!
my collage was of a flow chart type .
it started off with abgraduation pic showing "from a successful graduation an odyssey begins". of course the words are mine but the pictures were somehow impressive!!! [ of course would i ever say otherwise?]
next arrow pointed to a man climbing a vertical rock face with my caption "no barrier too high for me".
next arrow pointed to a picture of asoka sthambha , india's seal where the caption was "in the nation's service, IPS". after all it is my stated career aim to be a civil servant.
the next arrow points to a picture of a lonely road from the perspective of a solitary driver, captioned "driving down lonely roads".
next picture is of a flame breather spitting out a cloud of flame in front of an enchanted audience!!! captioned "blazing thru obstacles".
next a picture of an arms seizure and a guy being walked around in guantanamo. being captioned "the great crackdown" and "satisfaction guarranteed" it displays my infinite hatred of terrorists plaguing india.
next is a trivial picture of a chap holding a illusory music system and with caption "njoyin da life!!!" at it.
finally there is the picture of my love and my craze,
a royal enfield bullet!!!
after all the prize has the least importance in the sequence of karma!!!!
i am a strong believer in the gita saying, karmanyeva adhikarasthe, maa faleshu kadaachana!!!!
i have had this chart with me for almost 2 years!!!! i first made it in my sixth semester. it survived my room shifting in final year and now fully 2 years later it is at my desk!!!!
how drastic life has changed in those 2 years!!!! i was a 5 back paper guy while studying in sixth semester. from then i consistently gained 8,7 and 6 back papers in my 6,7 and 8th semesters respectively!!!!
funny aint it?
my career seemed to go in such wild directions as merchant navy, networking job in IT industry and even call center industry!!!!
but my aspirations in the chart have never changed!!! IPS and the bullet bike!!!!
damn!!! i am getting serious, am i not?
bloody hell!!!!
i just hope the "graduation" thing could happen soon!!!!
Sunday, March 16, 2008
buggered by the blogger's block
it is been a long time since i posted anything here. i was suffering a prolonged moroseness and lack of ideas. my cranial cells had atrophied and my mind was in perpetual animation!!!
well , today i have decided to type and post at least some banalities.
i dont know whether i should post the reason for my moroseness as it is intensely personal and will be distasteful for myself to know that my inner emotions will be accessible to another person. but still i have to state some reason for my prolonged absence even if there is no one to whom i should report to.
the weather around here has been remarkable for past couple of days. lots of rain , rain falling down in tankers!!! 3 days back when i went to temple it was surreal!!! i had just spent almost 1.5 hours talking to my dearest of friends , helping that person alleviate their loneliness through long distance conversation. basking in that warmth i went to the temple and i found that the eastern sky was pine apple yellow in colour!!!! being a consummate connoisseur of the extracts of that delectable fruit i was thrilled!!! it was a childish pleasure for me to see my favorite juice splashed all over the setting sky!!! while i was making the pradakshinas inside the temple, i had a chance glimpse of the western sky, and lo behold!!! what do i see? a friggin rainbow!!!!
it had been a very long time since i had seen a rainbow!!! it was so beautiful!!! all the loveliest things and all the associated sadnesses assaulted me at that moment!!! finally savoring the cool breeze that evaporated all sweat off me , i walked back home!!!
i am sure you may have wondered how can this numskull have the memories of all the loveliest things and all the depressing sadnesses come to him at the same time!!!
well, when one particular feeling is cherished but not reciprocated then all the loveliness that remind us of that feeling turn out to draw us deeper into depression. when the very beauty of world that give the simple joys also remind us that our most cherished feelings are spurned mercilessly.
completely off the rockers, eh?
yeah, i myself have the feeling that i should have booked an appointment with nimhans while i was in bangalore. wasted opportunity!!! now those blokes will have to send an ambulance all over from there.
well , today i have decided to type and post at least some banalities.
i dont know whether i should post the reason for my moroseness as it is intensely personal and will be distasteful for myself to know that my inner emotions will be accessible to another person. but still i have to state some reason for my prolonged absence even if there is no one to whom i should report to.
the weather around here has been remarkable for past couple of days. lots of rain , rain falling down in tankers!!! 3 days back when i went to temple it was surreal!!! i had just spent almost 1.5 hours talking to my dearest of friends , helping that person alleviate their loneliness through long distance conversation. basking in that warmth i went to the temple and i found that the eastern sky was pine apple yellow in colour!!!! being a consummate connoisseur of the extracts of that delectable fruit i was thrilled!!! it was a childish pleasure for me to see my favorite juice splashed all over the setting sky!!! while i was making the pradakshinas inside the temple, i had a chance glimpse of the western sky, and lo behold!!! what do i see? a friggin rainbow!!!!
it had been a very long time since i had seen a rainbow!!! it was so beautiful!!! all the loveliest things and all the associated sadnesses assaulted me at that moment!!! finally savoring the cool breeze that evaporated all sweat off me , i walked back home!!!
i am sure you may have wondered how can this numskull have the memories of all the loveliest things and all the depressing sadnesses come to him at the same time!!!
well, when one particular feeling is cherished but not reciprocated then all the loveliness that remind us of that feeling turn out to draw us deeper into depression. when the very beauty of world that give the simple joys also remind us that our most cherished feelings are spurned mercilessly.
completely off the rockers, eh?
yeah, i myself have the feeling that i should have booked an appointment with nimhans while i was in bangalore. wasted opportunity!!! now those blokes will have to send an ambulance all over from there.
Friday, March 7, 2008
anti-styleism
no , i have not mispronounced. no it may not figure in oxford dictionary- but does that mean the word is meaningless? even the word dingolfication is not there in oxford dictionary but it still doesn not remove the meaning of the word!!!
anti-styleism is the mantra or code of life for people like me who dislike to conform with any standards of style!!! i am the most uncomfortable around places and people who like to dress chic , stylish and fashionable. especially if i myself am dressed decently- shirt, jeans and shoes.
in those occasions nothing uplifts my spirit more than to see some one, preferably dressed in the most bohemian fashion possible.
2 days back i had been to the forum mall in bangalore with my sis in law and her cousin sister. now anyone who has ever been to bangalore knows that the forum is a heaven for stylish chic young people to ogle and be ogled. all sorts of style statements from the richest , stylest young people can be observed here. and one thing mostly common to these people are a disdain for anyone dressed simply or traditionally- a veritable symptom of "snobbism". these snobs think that one has to be dressed in chains, stylish watches, chained pants and such paraphernalia to be "cool" and anyone who dresses simply is an "uncouth country rustic".
one of my most favorite experiences had been once going to the kochi airport to pick somebody up with my cousin bro vijay. he too is an "anti-stylist" though maybe not as fanatical as me!!! we dressed in home t shirts and lungis!!! we drove up in the car and we were waiting for the cousin to be picked up. the large numbers of "desi foreigners" who were mostly dressed up to greet their relatives coming up from abroad. now these "stylish , smart" people were offended seeing such country people soiling the image of their style heaven!!! it was immense fun to see the snobby disdain !!! it felt like giving them one up!!!
bu hu ha ha haaa
it was the same feeling i felt when i went to the forum. how i would have enjoyed if i went there in a lungi!!!!! oooh, so fantastic!!!
when i got my job at spectrum i learned that there was no dress code. i also found that a lot of people were indeed very stylishly dressed. s while delivering my confirmation letter back signed i dressed up in my particular style. ordinary shirt, mundu (dhoti), sandals and a long umbrella!!! it was a great fun seeing the snobby looks from the "style gurus"!!!
i do hope that more people will start following this creed. perhaps i can even become a spiritual or philosophical guru!!! who knows i could have my own ashramas and franchisees in usa , europe and japan!!! who knows i could be a gazillionaire myself!!! ooh!!! how i get some inspirations!!!
anti-styleism is the mantra or code of life for people like me who dislike to conform with any standards of style!!! i am the most uncomfortable around places and people who like to dress chic , stylish and fashionable. especially if i myself am dressed decently- shirt, jeans and shoes.
in those occasions nothing uplifts my spirit more than to see some one, preferably dressed in the most bohemian fashion possible.
2 days back i had been to the forum mall in bangalore with my sis in law and her cousin sister. now anyone who has ever been to bangalore knows that the forum is a heaven for stylish chic young people to ogle and be ogled. all sorts of style statements from the richest , stylest young people can be observed here. and one thing mostly common to these people are a disdain for anyone dressed simply or traditionally- a veritable symptom of "snobbism". these snobs think that one has to be dressed in chains, stylish watches, chained pants and such paraphernalia to be "cool" and anyone who dresses simply is an "uncouth country rustic".
one of my most favorite experiences had been once going to the kochi airport to pick somebody up with my cousin bro vijay. he too is an "anti-stylist" though maybe not as fanatical as me!!! we dressed in home t shirts and lungis!!! we drove up in the car and we were waiting for the cousin to be picked up. the large numbers of "desi foreigners" who were mostly dressed up to greet their relatives coming up from abroad. now these "stylish , smart" people were offended seeing such country people soiling the image of their style heaven!!! it was immense fun to see the snobby disdain !!! it felt like giving them one up!!!
bu hu ha ha haaa
it was the same feeling i felt when i went to the forum. how i would have enjoyed if i went there in a lungi!!!!! oooh, so fantastic!!!
when i got my job at spectrum i learned that there was no dress code. i also found that a lot of people were indeed very stylishly dressed. s while delivering my confirmation letter back signed i dressed up in my particular style. ordinary shirt, mundu (dhoti), sandals and a long umbrella!!! it was a great fun seeing the snobby looks from the "style gurus"!!!
i do hope that more people will start following this creed. perhaps i can even become a spiritual or philosophical guru!!! who knows i could have my own ashramas and franchisees in usa , europe and japan!!! who knows i could be a gazillionaire myself!!! ooh!!! how i get some inspirations!!!
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
wish and hope
is a wish and a hope the same thing? i am not interested in the dictionary meanings and differenced of the two words- any policeman can do that.
but i had been thinking is there any fundamental differences between wishing and hoping for something?
do we wish for things that seem unreasonable and do we limit our hopes to things that sound reasonable? though the exact context which made me ponder these stuff is personal i can say that i found the futility of wishing when our wish is the most unreasonable.
people might wish they can fly like birds but they hope to fly in a plane!! i think that is the basic difference between the two stuffs. perhaps hope is a wish with a sprinkling of prudence and reason mixed with it.
i find myself wishing for some things that are not at all in my grasp of things. some matters can never be accomplished without mutual consent. we can only wish for reciprocation we can never hope for it. hoping for such things inevitably brings it to the realm of wishful thinking and we move to the realm of depression when the realities strike us full in face like a smash from muhammed ali. and it will be all the more painful because of the abruptness of the shattered illusion.
but when we know that what we desire is a wish rather than a hope we do not attach our lives to it in such a way that we are controlled by that desire. when i hope to be a civil servant, i desire that with a lot of realism and rationality and not wishful thinking. that object of hope is rationally attainable and though worth attaching our life to.
but when i wish to become the president of usa, let alone india that is a wishful, imaginative thinking.
i became really depressed when in the context the desire revealed itself to me as a mere wish rather than a hope. earlier when the same desire was a wish i deluded myself into believing that that wish was more than illusory and started hoping for it. i started living in a dreamland where all events and actions i translated into a role supporting of my false hope. and when the falseness of the wish was revealed i am crushed.
on contrary with my earlier posts i am not writing this in a happy frame of mind. in truth, i am really depressed and sad though my outward expression will not reveal it to people who observe me in real world. perhaps i am becoming successful at compartmentalizing my woes in order to not worry my fellow people. me being generally considered a jolly immature sort of chap that is the best face to reveal. after all why worry another being with the worries of myself???
right now consider even this post to be a drastic mistake . the reader who has often seen only the deranged portions of my cranium is exposed to the darker strains of my mind.
anyway no more of this stuff. by the time i swamp this blog with more lunatic aspects of my brain no one will notice this.
c ya latr
but i had been thinking is there any fundamental differences between wishing and hoping for something?
do we wish for things that seem unreasonable and do we limit our hopes to things that sound reasonable? though the exact context which made me ponder these stuff is personal i can say that i found the futility of wishing when our wish is the most unreasonable.
people might wish they can fly like birds but they hope to fly in a plane!! i think that is the basic difference between the two stuffs. perhaps hope is a wish with a sprinkling of prudence and reason mixed with it.
i find myself wishing for some things that are not at all in my grasp of things. some matters can never be accomplished without mutual consent. we can only wish for reciprocation we can never hope for it. hoping for such things inevitably brings it to the realm of wishful thinking and we move to the realm of depression when the realities strike us full in face like a smash from muhammed ali. and it will be all the more painful because of the abruptness of the shattered illusion.
but when we know that what we desire is a wish rather than a hope we do not attach our lives to it in such a way that we are controlled by that desire. when i hope to be a civil servant, i desire that with a lot of realism and rationality and not wishful thinking. that object of hope is rationally attainable and though worth attaching our life to.
but when i wish to become the president of usa, let alone india that is a wishful, imaginative thinking.
i became really depressed when in the context the desire revealed itself to me as a mere wish rather than a hope. earlier when the same desire was a wish i deluded myself into believing that that wish was more than illusory and started hoping for it. i started living in a dreamland where all events and actions i translated into a role supporting of my false hope. and when the falseness of the wish was revealed i am crushed.
on contrary with my earlier posts i am not writing this in a happy frame of mind. in truth, i am really depressed and sad though my outward expression will not reveal it to people who observe me in real world. perhaps i am becoming successful at compartmentalizing my woes in order to not worry my fellow people. me being generally considered a jolly immature sort of chap that is the best face to reveal. after all why worry another being with the worries of myself???
right now consider even this post to be a drastic mistake . the reader who has often seen only the deranged portions of my cranium is exposed to the darker strains of my mind.
anyway no more of this stuff. by the time i swamp this blog with more lunatic aspects of my brain no one will notice this.
c ya latr
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
wispiness of dreams!!
chavent we often woke up bright eyed in mornings with the memory of a wonderful dream fresh but somehow the details of the dreams eluding us? so frustrating , no?
i have had a few dreams that i have never been able to forget, a couple of vivid dreams extravagant in details and numerous in characters!!! but most of them were from my early childhood with one of my most memorable being a dream i had at my maternal ancestral house at nilambur. it was some sort of family get together and we, the platoon of kids used to lie down in a row of beds in the main hall and that same place was the setting for my dream!!!
near the window of the hall there is a a huge helicopter!! and it does not have regular doors- instead there are circular holes for people to slide in!! i , of course , am the pilot and my various cousins are the crew. it was a mechanical contraption with no regular engine to power the propeller blades!!! somehow my cousins succeed in cranking up the rotor and i lift the helicopter off the floor. it doesnt rise very high , though. perhaps about 3 feet!!! maybe it was at that time that i woke up!!!
this was the one dream that i have remembered for ever!!! i might have seen at the age of 6 or 7 max, but still the concepts are quite vivid in my mind!!! i dont know how or why this one dream is so memorable, cos by no means is it the one i enjoyed most or the most thrilling i had!!!
another dream i remember a lot consists of a thriller dream where i lead a commando assault on my nilambur home!!! there are tunneling involved and many other stunts, and though i dont remember their nature, the existence of stunts is very memorable!!!!
then there is my most frightening nightmare. this i had when i was in new delhi!! perhaps at age 4 or 5!! but still the blood chilling nature of the dream is vivid in my mind. it had me spinning in some sort of a spiral which is kinds endless, one spiral leading to another spiral with a sickly sort of soft music playing in the back ground!!! it was like being in a timeless black hole!!! never ending fright!!! no ghouls, no draculas or any of the traditional fright masters- just an endless falling in circles!!!! i have had this dream about 4 or 5 times and gradually i learned to wake up just when i start having the dream!!! it is so scary that even now i get scared of the concept.
if any shrink is reading this goop , take note, this point may help you in confirming my appointment in a lunatic asylum!!!
but what really saddens me is that i have forgotten so many great dreams all so consciously!!! there are of course dreams that are completely in the unconscious realm of mind. but there are some in the sub conscious realm of regular sleep that are quite fleetingly conscious to us when we are awake!!! and they are the most imaginative, thrilling and exciting dreams i ever had!!!! the sort of craziness i have experienced in those dreams will make even the demented reader blush!!! but the frustrating part is the acute lack of detail!!! the inability to revisualise that stunning hottie, that amazing location, that super cool stunt i did, the amazing adventures, basically the sort of things the memory and visualization of which makes the day for a committed sloth and day dreamer like me!!! but the more i try to "remember" the details more i tend to forget, but the feel of the dream does linger for a very long time. the basic emotion of the dream be it, happiness, adventure, romance or anything does persist well into the morning the time around noon when i find myself fully awake!!! and they are even greater when i wake up comparatively early, ie, around 8am!!!
the fleeting memory of those early morning wispy dreams give me the energy and guidance for the day's activities and moods.
profound???? i am i truly going nuts??? who cares???!!!
i have had a few dreams that i have never been able to forget, a couple of vivid dreams extravagant in details and numerous in characters!!! but most of them were from my early childhood with one of my most memorable being a dream i had at my maternal ancestral house at nilambur. it was some sort of family get together and we, the platoon of kids used to lie down in a row of beds in the main hall and that same place was the setting for my dream!!!
near the window of the hall there is a a huge helicopter!! and it does not have regular doors- instead there are circular holes for people to slide in!! i , of course , am the pilot and my various cousins are the crew. it was a mechanical contraption with no regular engine to power the propeller blades!!! somehow my cousins succeed in cranking up the rotor and i lift the helicopter off the floor. it doesnt rise very high , though. perhaps about 3 feet!!! maybe it was at that time that i woke up!!!
this was the one dream that i have remembered for ever!!! i might have seen at the age of 6 or 7 max, but still the concepts are quite vivid in my mind!!! i dont know how or why this one dream is so memorable, cos by no means is it the one i enjoyed most or the most thrilling i had!!!
another dream i remember a lot consists of a thriller dream where i lead a commando assault on my nilambur home!!! there are tunneling involved and many other stunts, and though i dont remember their nature, the existence of stunts is very memorable!!!!
then there is my most frightening nightmare. this i had when i was in new delhi!! perhaps at age 4 or 5!! but still the blood chilling nature of the dream is vivid in my mind. it had me spinning in some sort of a spiral which is kinds endless, one spiral leading to another spiral with a sickly sort of soft music playing in the back ground!!! it was like being in a timeless black hole!!! never ending fright!!! no ghouls, no draculas or any of the traditional fright masters- just an endless falling in circles!!!! i have had this dream about 4 or 5 times and gradually i learned to wake up just when i start having the dream!!! it is so scary that even now i get scared of the concept.
if any shrink is reading this goop , take note, this point may help you in confirming my appointment in a lunatic asylum!!!
but what really saddens me is that i have forgotten so many great dreams all so consciously!!! there are of course dreams that are completely in the unconscious realm of mind. but there are some in the sub conscious realm of regular sleep that are quite fleetingly conscious to us when we are awake!!! and they are the most imaginative, thrilling and exciting dreams i ever had!!!! the sort of craziness i have experienced in those dreams will make even the demented reader blush!!! but the frustrating part is the acute lack of detail!!! the inability to revisualise that stunning hottie, that amazing location, that super cool stunt i did, the amazing adventures, basically the sort of things the memory and visualization of which makes the day for a committed sloth and day dreamer like me!!! but the more i try to "remember" the details more i tend to forget, but the feel of the dream does linger for a very long time. the basic emotion of the dream be it, happiness, adventure, romance or anything does persist well into the morning the time around noon when i find myself fully awake!!! and they are even greater when i wake up comparatively early, ie, around 8am!!!
the fleeting memory of those early morning wispy dreams give me the energy and guidance for the day's activities and moods.
profound???? i am i truly going nuts??? who cares???!!!
Monday, March 3, 2008
from queen of arabian sea to garden city
i had a very exciting journey which started on saturday 1st mar which culminated yesterday at 6 pm.
though it was the para festival at our temple this was a journey i had much looked out for. i was travelling with my cousin brother vinay and sister-in-law harsha, aka edathiyamma. the day started wonderfully . bright sunny morning, and a rare thing happened too!!! i woke up before 8am IST!!!
and to make matters even more joyous, i woke up and bathed just in time to watch the lord crossing the river in the boat, one of the most beautiful sights around. but unfortunately as i was watching the crossing i had an unexpected spraining of neck that was horribly painful. i also had a series of errands to run before the departure.and like a mole atop a hump my toe was cut by my scooter's stand.
finally after a patching up i left on the journey with my bro in his wagon r car at around 11 am. we left via trichur to coimbatore via nh 47. the roads were far better than i anticipated although the existence of gutters in large numbers did save the trip from being "too" comfortable. and the fact that vinay considered himself to be an amateur rally driver did make the trip extremely hair raising!!!
we had lunch at the indian coffee house at mannuthi agricultural college. contrary to the standards of indian coffee houses in india the food at this joint was deplorable at best. maybe that is why indian coffee house is a dying brand name nowadays.
we crossed into the state of tamil nadu via the walayar check post and the amazing line of trucks waiting to cross over into kerala amazed me!!!! the line was almost 4 kms long. it drove the point home that every thing we keralites consume has to be trucked in from other states!!! a total consumer and the ultimate market economy. it also gave me a career aim to be a police or customs officer here!! service here for a month could set me up for a lifetime of luxury!!!!
the crossing over into tamil nadu territory was a breath taking experience. it seemed like all greenery too ceased existence beyond the border. while it was all lush green with lots of grass and trees at the kerala side, yonder it was all barren brown terrain.
the roads too took a turn for the worse and potholes becoming a norm and firm tarmac a rarity. finally around dusk we reached the home of vinay's in- laws. it was a breezy , cute apartment that was quite charming.
next day we were on our final leg to bangalore, the IT centre and garden city, which in a few years will be recognizable by the name "bengaluru". god help that city then!!!
the trip which was supposed to start at 8 finally took off at 11. we travelled in the sathymangalam, kollegal route.
what started out to be a pleasant drive through lush forests and winding hair pin turns at the sathyamangalam pass, a tricky route with 29 hair pin curves, finally took an boring and exasperating turn. from the forests once dominated by the notorious and legendary forest brigand veerappan we got trapped in the horrendous road system of karnataka. what normally takes 2 hours of driving in decently paved roads took us an exasperating 5 hours through the worst roads we had ever seen!!! these roads which apparently has not seen asphalt ever since british left the country 60 years ago are only motored by bullock carts and all terrain tractors. due to the prevalent practices of drying food grains on the road surface, the absence of tarmac has even caused some sections of the road to have flourishing flora growing on them!!! it was a sea change from the comparatively magnificent roads of kerala and the decently paved roads of tamil nadu. i almost felt nostalgic about kerala roads which normally i will start cursing every 93 minutes!!!!
finally i reached bangalore at about 6 pm, a complete wreck!!!! my neck and left shoulders were screaming!!!! even liberal doses of pain easing sprays did no good to the torment. finally after and excruciatingly cold bath and a sumptuous dinner, i embraced lady sleep.
thus i reached the garden city!!!!!!
though it was the para festival at our temple this was a journey i had much looked out for. i was travelling with my cousin brother vinay and sister-in-law harsha, aka edathiyamma. the day started wonderfully . bright sunny morning, and a rare thing happened too!!! i woke up before 8am IST!!!
and to make matters even more joyous, i woke up and bathed just in time to watch the lord crossing the river in the boat, one of the most beautiful sights around. but unfortunately as i was watching the crossing i had an unexpected spraining of neck that was horribly painful. i also had a series of errands to run before the departure.and like a mole atop a hump my toe was cut by my scooter's stand.
finally after a patching up i left on the journey with my bro in his wagon r car at around 11 am. we left via trichur to coimbatore via nh 47. the roads were far better than i anticipated although the existence of gutters in large numbers did save the trip from being "too" comfortable. and the fact that vinay considered himself to be an amateur rally driver did make the trip extremely hair raising!!!
we had lunch at the indian coffee house at mannuthi agricultural college. contrary to the standards of indian coffee houses in india the food at this joint was deplorable at best. maybe that is why indian coffee house is a dying brand name nowadays.
we crossed into the state of tamil nadu via the walayar check post and the amazing line of trucks waiting to cross over into kerala amazed me!!!! the line was almost 4 kms long. it drove the point home that every thing we keralites consume has to be trucked in from other states!!! a total consumer and the ultimate market economy. it also gave me a career aim to be a police or customs officer here!! service here for a month could set me up for a lifetime of luxury!!!!
the crossing over into tamil nadu territory was a breath taking experience. it seemed like all greenery too ceased existence beyond the border. while it was all lush green with lots of grass and trees at the kerala side, yonder it was all barren brown terrain.
the roads too took a turn for the worse and potholes becoming a norm and firm tarmac a rarity. finally around dusk we reached the home of vinay's in- laws. it was a breezy , cute apartment that was quite charming.
next day we were on our final leg to bangalore, the IT centre and garden city, which in a few years will be recognizable by the name "bengaluru". god help that city then!!!
the trip which was supposed to start at 8 finally took off at 11. we travelled in the sathymangalam, kollegal route.
what started out to be a pleasant drive through lush forests and winding hair pin turns at the sathyamangalam pass, a tricky route with 29 hair pin curves, finally took an boring and exasperating turn. from the forests once dominated by the notorious and legendary forest brigand veerappan we got trapped in the horrendous road system of karnataka. what normally takes 2 hours of driving in decently paved roads took us an exasperating 5 hours through the worst roads we had ever seen!!! these roads which apparently has not seen asphalt ever since british left the country 60 years ago are only motored by bullock carts and all terrain tractors. due to the prevalent practices of drying food grains on the road surface, the absence of tarmac has even caused some sections of the road to have flourishing flora growing on them!!! it was a sea change from the comparatively magnificent roads of kerala and the decently paved roads of tamil nadu. i almost felt nostalgic about kerala roads which normally i will start cursing every 93 minutes!!!!
finally i reached bangalore at about 6 pm, a complete wreck!!!! my neck and left shoulders were screaming!!!! even liberal doses of pain easing sprays did no good to the torment. finally after and excruciatingly cold bath and a sumptuous dinner, i embraced lady sleep.
thus i reached the garden city!!!!!!
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