Friday, June 11, 2010

The Doomed Male Chauvinist Pig

First of all I am not a chauvinist according to the dictionary or rather wikipedia meaning. In fact MCP is a moniker bestowed upon me by a sister whom I have never met face to face. The fact of this sister being an ardent feminist and female chauvinist should be the enough explanation.

The classic definitions notwithstanding, I do consider myself a chauvinist in the modern sense. I am a person who believes in firm equality, no preferences either way. I definitely do not believe that there should be reservations or special considerations shown to women. This extreme sense of equality bestowed upon me the aura of being a chauvinist.

In today's world, especially in the cyber world equality is rather unfashionable. The classic "Damsel in Distress" brings the "white knights" pouring in for assistance. In blogosphere and twitter world, everywhere the chivalrous White Knights rule the day. But is that really needed? Is that conducive to equality?

When a man is in trouble we tell him to "bear up and move on". There is an expectation on a man to be stoic in the troubles, a man is not supposed to seek pity, even if he seeks he is ignored. However if it is a woman in comparable situation you have a horde waiting in the wings, with coats thrown over the puddles and they themselves lying down to build a bridge of jelly backs for the woman to cross the troubles comfortably. Why cant the same standards be applied to both sexes?

This essentially brings me to the premise of this post.

Men are essentially doomed.

Bound to a spartan emotional existence, the code of stoicism ever present upon their lives, we men are essentially doomed. The White Knight Chivalry which creates more and more chauvinism means that equality between men and women are as distant as it ever was.

The most unfair of this code is the rule prohibiting tears. Men are not supposed to cry, only women cry. Hell, then why did evolution give us tear ducts in the eyes! It is as part of the stoic code by which men are supposed to bear all hardships imposed upon them, and never to falter.

In the traditional chauvinistic code men are the pillars of the family, the strength of their visage expected to give stability during all crises. When the womenfolk and children have the right to cry, the man has to remain steady, his eyes dry and his shoulders broad for all to lean upon. But what about the man himself? A man is not just an automaton. In the entire oceans of literature on feminine sensitivities not much considerations have been given to the equally poignant male sensitivities. Why? The code of chivalry and chauvinism which seeks to portray men as super figures, which essentially dooms them.

We Male Chauvinistic Pigs, thus deprived of a release to our own emotional torrents are more torn from inside, the slow poison of suppression seeping out through every actions and words. The feminists and female chauvinists make great hue and cry over the brutality of men, but ever understand that the brutality is a result of the repressed emotions.

In fact in my opinion it is the males who have been wronged against. Females have more freedom in this respect than males, which generally increases their longevity.

It is unlikely how this state of affairs would ever change since the White Knights of the world would keep on trumpeting away spreading their chivalry and chauvinism for the continued inequality in the world.

In a world like this a true seeker of equality like me is branded a Male Chauvinist Pig, which leaves me no recourse other than to finish this post to polish my badges and snout proclaiming "MCP"

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Dangerous Indescretions

Have you ever written your name as Saddam Hussein in some security register? Have you ever written a commentary on Rwandan genocide in a University exam answer paper? Have you ever said an unforgivable word like "fuck" or "holy shit" in a temple?

Yours truly is guilty of all the above and once again expresses his regret over the aforementioned offenses.

There are certain times in life when we brand ourselves as "cool", "fun" and "freaky" people. After all who would look through a dreary old register at security shack in an apartment complex? Surely it is a laugh if we use the said columns to propagate the memory of the long executed freakshow. This was what I thought until one day my super-serious cousin bro and normally cool bro-in-law all but chewed my posterior. Of course in retrospection in a more serious perspective it is highly irresponsible, dangerous and even a felony!

But seriously, haven't you ever seen the name column and wanted to write out something crazy? For me it is actually a debilitating disease. As a perennially boring chap, moving from boring drudgery to monotonic dudgeon, impulses of insanity are usually stacked up just below the cuticles. Fellow Wodehousians may have heard about how the inimitable Gussie scaled the Everests and Kanchenjunga's of levity on being varnished slightly with that exalted product of Scotland, and wrought absolute havoc in the peaceful country side. The said incident was attributed by our exalted sage, Guru Sri Sri Jeeves as the effect of highly repressed and contained lunacy being expressed in an afternoon as a torrent. The sagatic butler in fact recommends that all such lunacies must be discharged at equitable rates of release over time, rather than letting the pressure build up.

Now if similarities are being brought with the phenomenon of volcanoes it is purely incidental.

Coming back to the issue, such is the case of lunacy with me. Times of extraordinary mental and emotional upheavals can bring out levity and lunacy in excessive measures which causes one to be truly break all conventional concepts of discretion!

(Wow!! I used another movie phrase of Mohan Lal.)

The Saddam Hussein incident has been well explained earlier which ended with the penitent me, sneaking down to the guard shack and slyly retrieving the register to alter the entries.

The treatise on Rwandan genocide is of course another rather sensitive era from my saga, a product of my long patronage of MG University. Having had the honor of providing to the coffers of this exalted institution for the past seven years I have also been entrusted with the burden of occasionally having to answer certain question papers for passing certain subjects. Now the question papers are excellent objects, nicely worded, clearly printed but with its contents usually incoherant. Now as the reader can realize yours only is not handicapped in reading, nor in the grasp of English, some even go on to say the grasp is a stranglehold. The incoherence is due to a biological aversion yours only exhibits towards certain subjects part of the syllabus of Electrical Engineering. When faced with text books or question papers related to these subjects I used to have the unfortunate allergic reaction of going mentally blank and going into alternate mnemonic universes. The advent of such mnemonic universes and near presence of pen and paper is a sure recipe for disaster as yours truly realized that sweltering hot May afternoon.

The highly intelligent, well researched, well thought out and exceptionally written treatise on the ghastly genocides in Africa had been written on a good 8 whole pages of answer paper (both sides) which even required one to ask for 4 extra sheets! This treatise which could be considered for doctoral studies in Conflict Management instead was destined to be penalized by the University. The examiner who read the answer paper, instead of laughing it off (as one hoped he would), was affronted by righteous indignation and recommended me for punishment.

Thus ensued a few months of running around in the pristine campus of this exalted University amidst extremely friendly and cooperative University staff, who very helpfully assisted yours truly to lose unnecessary weight in torso, legs and most importantly head.

Suffice to say, due to grace of Heaven and University I escaped with no lasting repercussions.

The third example is not worthy of detailed explanation as I am sure it is also an experience shared by N number of my friends in any temple crowd with a high percentage of extremely beautiful girls. It is a normal reaction but again rather frowned upon by more wiser peers and considered sufficient for excommunication by the more fanatic elders.

This long winded narration of one's idiocies is to present a more serious conundrum.

What would happen if one becomes indescreet in the Cyber world. With its pretenses of anonymity and free speech is there similar cause for discretion in the world of internet? A rather sharply worded blog, a feverish comment in a forum, a highly volatile chat conversation. Can any of these come back to bite us in the ass in the future?

Consider this. Say I launch into a diatribe against certain highly respected and pious Ministers of Govt of India. Now I may not post it in a blog, but in some random forum corresponding to some random game. If in a fictitious future I am being subjected to a background check for some government post, would this indiscreet comment be dug up and produced as yolk in my very austere face?

Having had to see something I never hoped to see again presented to me by authority is a rude shock. I have experienced that in that scary and hot afternoon in MG University when like a zombie rising from the grave, first a photostat then the original answer sheet was conjured in front of me by the deceptively sweet official. Believe me, it is no fun to see the evidences of your lunacy being displayed before you in tense circumstances.

Now a lot of bloggers in the blogosphere are doubtless typing away in merry abandonment under the guise of anonymity. My worry is, is there anything as such? Should I make allowances of premonitions of some future official waving transcripts of an indiscreet blogpost while typing something reactionary? Should I do second thinking while discussing non conventional topics with an acquaintance in IRC?

Seeing as I am interested in Cyber Policing myself, it would be interesting if this blog post on Cyber Policing is waved in front of me as an evidence of intransigence and indiscretion in a future job interview!! :D