Logging out for next season.

i am leaving bangalore and my job for about 2 months as it is time for my semi-annual season. this is not duck hunting, witch hunting or even because of winter season, but even more ominous my exam season.

so yesterday after bidding adieu to my beloved site at nagawara i took early leave and came home. now i am at my bro's home in sarjapur. on the way over i started to reminiscense with my other bro with whom i stay. he just experienced an accident in which his car was spoilt due to his courteousness. he was taking a legal U turn at mekhri circle to go to his office when he slowed down to let an elderly couple pass. after they passed while he was taking the turn a dumb-ass omni driver who was bumper to bumper tookthe curve on the inside when there was barely a space for a cycle to go. my bro's car's entire right side was scratched and the right rear door has to be replaced. a shouting match ensued and the dumb shit driver and owner even resorted to physical actions on my bro. but since my bro is of similar physical disposition as myself the two fools were thrown off unceremoniously.
anyway my bro was mad about this incident and i too had numerous incidents with the patented driving skills of bangalore drivers and we started to express our opinions. and we reached an unanimous decision that we hate bangalore for its traffic and bangaloreans for their driving skills. i am not a person who can hate anything completely. bangalore is a city i had come to know, i do love it sometimes. even bangaloreans i like, after all i had experienced the rarest of the rare, two gentlemanly auto rickshaw drivers of bangalore!!!! but still it is a fact nevertheless.

i dont know if it is a phenomenon everywhere in india, but in kochi where i have many driving experience i have never met such blatantly ignorant and selfish drivers. in bangalore i have been angered by auto rickshaws and BTC buses which clog up the traffic by riding in the center lane at 15 KMPH. i have hated trucks which ride in outer ring road trying to overtake each other like one snail over taking another blocking the entire traffic.
i have felt like cursing at the drivers of TVS mopeds and dumbass cyclists who drive so stupidly through the middle of busy roads while blocking the entire roads, ignoring all traffic signals and rules and making life so hazardous for other travellers.

seriously i have never met such acutely traffic impaired drivers.

long time no see

it has been a long time since i blogged here. one reason was that until 2 months ago my life was more stagnant than the mosquito drains of kochi and another reason was a well wished comment from a well wisher who dissuaded me from blogging.
perhaps i am really that exquisitely bad at this!!!

anyway now i am back with some more maturity(I hope!!) and a lot more experience to define my life with.

i am now in bangalore doing an interesting job in an interesting industry for about 2 months now. my being aware of an opening and my joining took just 3 days. i knew about the job on july 27 and by aug 1 i had joined.

my job is in construction sites where i have the opportunity to observe a variety of peoples. it is in sites like this that i see social ranking in action. in a site heirarchy is rigid. architects on top, consultants next, then engineers, then supervisors, then skilled workers and last unskilled labour.
i, being an engineer, and thus endowed the white hard hat am considered at the top of the food chain. it is pretty embarassing for a person like me. when ever i climb the stairs or come across laborers or security guards they all are immediately wary as if i am some sort of a Big Boss!!! i find it funny and very disconcerting. people who are as old as my father call me Sir and stand when i talk to them!!! and the most interesting thing is to see the seasoned pros in this industry who take all this as norm. i have interacted with consultants who consider anyone of lesser rank than a supervisor as scum!!!
some engineers and the consultants and architects who have long experiences and spend less time in field consider themselves so superior to the other people that it is galling.
to people like that i want to get 3 250 KG gas cylinders up 6 floors. i had to get such a work done. it was excruciatingly difficult. no service lift, no cranes, all materials lifted up six floors and i had to get such a cargo up. finally i had to beg and cajole a gang of 10 to get the job done and they did for 900 rs. after i gave them money they were so happy i was surprised!!! they all insisted on shaking my hand and i obliged. from then on whenever i encountered them on site they always greeted me with warm smiles.

seriously i want to ask those egoistic consultants how can they ever get a job done without such helpful people!! after all not always will money work!!!

Experiencing the garden city

DISCLAIMER: this post should have come sooner but for some nasty internet flop ups. i am too lazy to edit it, so read it as it is. :D

indeed it has been a long time since i blogged. partly it was due to a well meaning discouragement i received from a "well wisher". partly because my life was going nowhere and there is nothing imaginative in stagnance.
but for the past one and a half months my life was seen tumultous change. from an unemployed bum now i am a working professional. i am gaining strides in self confidence and earning valuable experience.
bangalore is truly a remarkable place. not that i love this city in its entirety but it has its charm and wonders. some experiences of mine have really stunned me even in hindsight!!
for the first three weeks of work here, i referred to b'lore only as this friggin city. that was because i was a patron of BTC, namely Bangalore Transport Corporation, the infamous public bus system of Bangalore. The fact of my site and my place of residence being on opposite corners of b'lore did not help either. i had to commute in a minimum of 4 and a maximum of 10 buses everyday. the event i am going to describe happened on august 14, more famously known as Pakistan's Independence Day.
on that day i had boarded the regular bus to marathahalli from bellandur. naturally it was a re-enactment of wagon tragedy, filled with tired laborers on their commute home. getting inside the bus itself was a luxury and most had to adjust by having to hang from the windows. it was in this strenuous ride that it started to rain. i expected that such a turn of events would make people more uncomfortable and hence more unfriendly. but i saw and experienced something magical happening. the people who till then brooding silently started to crack jokes and the entire bus got a jovial mood. it were the people who were the most uncomfortable who were the loudest at laughing at and cracking jokes, me included.
finally i reached marathahalli in one piece and started the trek upwards to the bus station. the slope of the underpass created a river of mud flowing down. i waded up , already being drenched despite my insufficient rain jacket. the van ride and the subsequent bus ride are inconsequential except for the long wait which i had taken to be a frustrating norm and being drenched to the skin in which there is nothing remarkable at all. by the time i reached the shivaji nagar bus terminal i was drenched, cold and shivering. the station was crowded with people and empty of buses. swearing at all the people who directly or indirectly led me to this point of time, i went looking to catch an auto to get home.
the autos in bangalore, and on second thoughts everywhere are amazing examples of murphy's law in practice. when u dont want one u are heckled by them trying to lure u into a drive. but when u actually need them they either conveniently run out of fuel or in supreme arrogance they refuse the ride.
that was teh situation i found myself in. time was 0930PM and i had to leave the next day at 0300AM to go home. i asked many auto wallahs to give a ride. they refused. then i sought to bribe them going as much as rs. 200 for a rs.50 ride even at night. they refused. then finally i had to beg a person who had refused me twice already. i weaved a plaintive story liberally infused with my very real cold induced shivering and stammering. i also raised the loot to rs.250. thankfully he accepted to take me home. i got in expecting him to leave but was stunned when he started hoarding other passengers to share the ride. apparrently he thought all people would be as desperate or as crazy as me as all the people who approached him turned down the rate he offered. finally after yet another 15 minutes we started.
if i thought i would have a steady ride now, i was yet again mistaken. this guy, being a consummate businessman stopped everywhere 5+ people congregated trying to lure an extra rider. at that point i offered him rs.275 and 50 paise the entire contents of my purse.
to make matters worse the lighter which i always carried with me was missing i teh confusion and i could not light up the very wet cigarettes i had in my pocket. i asked him for a match and he said he had none. resigned for a nicotine deprive cold ride, i was surprised when the driver pulled to the side and went off to buy 2 cigarettes and a match box for me!!
only a smoker can understand how much gratitude such an act generates!!! in that instant when i took the first puff i forgave him for all the waiting and all the ignominy he forced me to experience.
and that too without being bidden!!! i asked for a light and i get two kings and light!!
i reached home that night at 1030.

gentlemen and pussies

no.
i am not referring to the great interest displayed by men regarding that particular portion of feminine anatomy.

rather i am talking about gentlemen being generally compared to pussies, or people with significant absence of backbone, or any masculine coarseness.

the more prevalent notion of gentleman is the image of the victorian age european man , a metrosexual individual who had an equal interest in fine apparels and materials as do women of all ages. they too liked to adorn themselves in the best garments like silk, fur etc, they had as much penchant for cosmetics as do women. in fact their code of conduct would be condemned effeminate by most of us retro sexual males.

or in other words we call them pussies.

but are gentlemen really pussies? a gentleman is one of refined character and dignified personality. he converses splendidly, is highly articulate, chivalrous and a best example of civility.
pussies are vain, spineless variations of male gender who disdain physical labors and seem to display a paranoid revulsion to sunlight and all activities connected with vitamin D.

the reason i bring out this dichotomy is because due to a large number of pussies hiding under the garb of gentlemanliness, all gentlemanly attributes are considered to be pussy!!!

i seek to prove the contrary.

a gentleman is defined as " a gentleman is a person who knows precisely when to stop being a gentleman". this means a gentleman knows the precise limits to his courtesy and civil manners. a gentleman knows the correct time to shed his arts of diplomacy and launch a perfect punch better than the best of the bar room brawlers!!!

whereas a pussy will cry out when unduly intimidated, a gentleman stands his ground and when reaching the end of diplomacy and civility sheds his raiments of civilization and can fight in teh mud with the worst elements of society, and once hostilities terminated his gentlemanly conduct reveals faster than his skin colour under all the mud of the fight.

now you might be wondering why is this blithering fool bla blahing all about this gentleman stuff!!!

the reason is i see myself as a gentleman!!!

okay, now stop laughing (and rechecking what i just typed above), i am serious.
though i do disdain the vain raiments and garments attributed to gentlemen i seek to espouse the code of values that has defined gentlemen for ages. the codes espoused by the knights templar of renown, of the great samurai, of the great rajputs, the world conquering victorian britons, i seek to espouse that code of conduct.

in todays world these qualities are highly disadvantageous. when the wily and crooked rules the day, gentlemen are cornered. when the socialism and communism is at power and the coarseness and roughness of serfdom is glorified, the refinement of the erstwhile nobles are denounced. but it is precisely that nobleness in personality that i seek to espouse in my character. i do not though seek to emulate the racist characters of these upper!!!

my idol of gentleman is a fictional character of immense depth and magnificence. he is Dr. Hannibal Lecter MD. though i do not empathize with his cannibalistic tendencies the refinement of character, his gentile tastes in art and fine material, his immense intellect and mental powers, his astounding social grace and charm, yes the single greatest gentlemanly character, charm, these i admire a lot!!!

when i see the movies of hannibal fame, and when i read the trilogy, it is not the cannibal genius who strikes me, but the articulate gentleman that he is. even incarcerated in the baltimore mental hospital, he lives in his own mnemonic world of extra ordinary charm, grace and beauty. cohabiting the worst psychopaths imaginable he is an epitome of courtesy and charm to clarice and the inimitable barney!!!

now that is what i see myself to be!!! that is what i seek to be!!! a revelation??? a peek into future??? who knows?????

ha ha ha ha ha

dolphins, ships and palaces

now, you must be wondering which brand of dope have i smoked today for creating such a senseless heading for a post that will surely prove to be senseless!!!

no, i am afraid i have to mash up ur brains again!!!

2 days back i had an extraordinary trip!!!
my father's niece suni and her husband hari and daughter kunji had come to kochi for a few days' hols. now hari chetan is an inspector general, one of the senior most police officers in kerala!!!! a very gem of a character with exemplary humility and tact!!!
the day they came i mentioned the operation of a ship plied by KTDC, kerala tourism development corporation, which goes into outer sea and after showing sunset to the passengers comes back to kochi!!!
after i had relayed the news to my parents and aunts, they had been very excited, so was suni chechi!!
the next day she called me up and said , get ready by 3pm. we are going for that sunset cruise!!!

i was thrilled.

we went in the official police ambassador car. i thought we must be going to the wharf near ernakulam high court but we drove on to fort kochi, the picturesque quarter of kochi city!!!
i was flabbergasted when the vehicle drove on to the coast guard station there!!!
there we were escorted to the commandant's guest room, a palatial luxury room with lots of cozy chairs, easy chairs and with an immense view of the back waters and the sea!!!
now this was an experience i would never have had as a measly civilian!!! no, it was teh IG's rank that secured us such a wonderful experience!!!

later we boarded a coast guard boat that took us to bolghatty palace, once a palace belonging to our family, but now a 5 star hotel run by the govt.
we passed teh ships in the harbor and i recognised two of three german naval ships that had come for a friendly port visit!!! i am proud that i recognized them from their unique serial number and the deutscheland flag that they adorned. going past we also saw the huge air defence ship of german navy!!!
bolghatty palace is usually out of bounds for ordinary mortals. but since we were with such a high powered person it was all royal treatment for us!!!
we had complimentary tea and coffee at one of their closed restaurants that had become haven for a squadron of flies. now this showed me the uniqueness of govt hotels!!!
later we went through some of the luxury suites and conference room that were in the original palace complex. i was sad to think that had my ancestors been wise, i would have been sleeping n one of these rooms with some of the best views i had ever seen!!!

later we boarded our boat and were on our way to the harbor mouth.
we passed pretty close the german big ship, close enough that the sailors waved back at us!!! they were very friendly sorts. then i spotted something that brought my heart to the base of my mouth!!! a heckler and koch mp5 submachine gun!!!! the magnificent machine was handled by a sailor who looked downright serious!!! it had a folding stock!!! i saw the stock first and then the barrel and lock!!!!! i never thought i would ever see an mp5!!!!!! it is one of my most favorite guns!!!

later as we approached teh harbor mouth we saw a family of dolphins swimming around!!! we were all excited, but none more than my niece kunji who is a dedicated follower of maneka gandhi, the dog kisser.
they were gray colored dolphins but i also spotted one which was golden brown in color!!! we didnt venture much further as the rolling of the boat was very uncomfortable to hari chetan who has vertigo!!!

we moved back into the harbor and waited as the sun slowly sunk into its depths, perhaps to hail good morning to inhabitants of washington dc????

then we berthed at the coast guard station and were back home in the uneventful leg of the day!!

bibliophile's woe

books are great friends for morts like me,
they are the greatest listeners,
they offer good advice,
and they dont leave.

you hear me out when i am sad,
you wont tell me your own suffers,
you dont tease me when i am serious,
you dont ever hurt me.

you never sleep when i need you,
you are never too busy for me,
you dont ever get tired of me,
you are always there for me.

you respect me when i need some,
you dont taunt in strange company,
you belong only to me,
you are my best friend.

another "poem"

this is another poem i wrote on a day my mother struck me for my poor marks.


words cannot spell the emotion in my heart,
rembrandt cannot give color to its flame,
etna is just a pop-lolly in par,
cos such is the anger beareth that i.

why is that i freaked upon this world,
why am i becoming the odd man at the end?
why is it that i am such perditioned,
why did you mother, bring me forth?

bless as you do with your love,
torture me you so with thy eyes,
thine words are like lava in heart,
a slap is thus therefore an intolerability.

you have not the hurt the physical of me,
i am built as the hardiest ox,
but unfathomed is the dent in my soul,
the instance you endeavored to strike me.

forgive me mater, i teared you,
curse me mother, i pained you,
smile mother , cos you win yet again,
thine goal is reached, thy son shall study,
but he hath morphed by you.